Explore the Patterns That Shape Your Relationships
A playful guide to uncovering your tendencies and creating deeper connections.
Ever wished people came with warning labels?
Imagine how much heartache we could save!
I came across a Teal Swan post that said, “If You Had a Warning Label, What Would It Be?”
I thought, “OMG, if only!” This idea is both humorous and enlightening. It invites us to reflect on the ‘good’ and so-called ‘bad’ patterns and tendencies that make us who we are.
The Masks We Wear
Many of us have learned to hide parts of ourselves, whether out of fear of rejection, the desire to fit into society and its expectations or simply because we want to be liked. We are constantly told to present our best selves and to say and do the right things to gain approval.
But these masks, while protective, often come with a price. Over time, they can lead to disappointment in relationships as the truth of our ‘real’ self eventually surfaces.
When we hide who we are, we prevent others from truly seeing us — our unique traits and individuality. Are these flaws, or simply the unique aspects that make us human? By hiding these parts of ourselves, we not only cheat others but miss the chance to live authentically.
Understanding the masks we wear is the first step toward uncovering the patterns beneath them. These patterns shape how we interact with others and, ultimately, how we view ourselves.
What would your warning label say?
A Fun Reflection Exercise:
Let’s uncover your personal warning label with this fun and introspective activity. Reflect on these questions:
What emotional habits or characteristics might catch others off guard?
Example: “Warning: Disorganized chaos — my desk, routines, and dishes all agree!”
What patterns have shown up in my relationships?
Example: “Caution: Avoidant personality — conflict makes me want to run.”
What strengths or traits do I have that could be misunderstood?
Example: “Warning: Super organized — expects others to keep up and can’t hide the frustration when they don’t.”
Take a few moments to jot down your answers. The goal isn’t to criticize yourself but to embrace your unique qualities with humour and curiosity.
Identifying Your Patterns
To figure out your attachment warning label, reflect on past relationships or recurring themes about yourself. For example:
Attracting narcissists? Your label might be: “Warning: Chronic overgiver in recovery.”
Conflict-avoidant? Try: “Caution: Silent internal storm brewing or numbing in effect.”
Charming but messy? Perhaps: “Warning: Charms you with wit but can’t commit, leaving others unsure of where they stand — but the charm is undeniable!”
This exercise can be both fun and deeply revealing, offering insights into how you show up in relationships and what might need attention for growth.
Why It Matters
Understanding your “Warning Label” can lead to authentic relationships. When you’re honest with yourself about your patterns, you create space for deeper connections.
This awareness helps you identify areas where you’re willing to grow and adjust. It also defines your deal-breakers in relationships, making it clear what you are and are not willing to tolerate in relationships.
The Path Forward and Closing Exercise
After identifying your labels, consider how they impact your relationships and what steps you can take to achieve change and growth.
For instance, if your label is:
Needs constant reassurance; consider steps to build self-confidence while communicating this need to others.
If you are an overgiver, explore where this pattern originated and reframe your beliefs about self-worth. Focus on setting boundaries and practicing self-care.
Or, If you’re a silent storm, what steps can you take to share your feelings openly and consistently rather than waiting for a breaking point?
As you reflect on your warning labels, remember that they are not flaws but insights into your personal growth journey. These reflections offer a window into how your unique traits and patterns shape your interactions and open the door to balance and healing.
Can’t Commit? What is the fear behind committing? Where does this fear originate from? Are you willing to do the inner healing work to understand this better? Can you be honest enough to make your boundaries and intentions very clear in a relationship rather than leading a person on?
Final Thought
Your warning label is not a limitation; it’s a gateway to understanding yourself and taking responsibility for your actions. Recognizing your patterns allows you to live authentically, freeing yourself from blame and creating honest, joyful connections.
Does your warning label align with how you want to show up in the world?
If you have a topic you would like me to explore further or have any questions, please feel free to contact me. If you’re ready to dive deeper into your personal growth and want to work 1:1, visit my website at www.monikatyab.com to book a 60-minute complimentary clarity call. I would love to support you on your healing journey.
Want to explore self-discovery and alignment more deeply? Follow me on Instagram at @evolvewithmonika for reflections, tools and more insights into creating the life you deserve.
